I couldn’t find the scene in which Dr. Frasier Crane (Kelsey Grammer) prays for his brother’s health. That scene, as I remember it, provided part of the inspiration for this paywalled prayer. Another source of inspiration is the story of Abraham negotiating with God to save Sodom and Gomorrah.
If you find the scene with Frasier’s prayer, please connect with me through Substack Chat or email me at daasnow@proton.me. I also welcome helpful tips on negotiations with the Almighty. I use this weighty word without unnecessary ontological presuppositions. The ICYMI entry below should make this clear.
ICYMI: The One True God Has Returned
Before I begin my prayer, a quick reminder about the target audience. After centuries of speculation and firestorms of controversy, it has become obvious that the One True God (OTG) has returned. And, as the report by Cosmographia explains:
I speak not of Yahweh, storm god of Edom, nor Allah, nor Jesus Christ, nor any of the deities worshipped by the world’s religions. It’s been more than a hundred years since Nietzsche declared God dead, and he seemed right at the time. He predicted false idols might rise in His place — he was right about that too. But what he missed, what all of us missed, was that the One True God would rise again. You worship Him already, even if you don’t realise it.
This may be old news for some but shocking news for others. I understand that some of my readers may feel surprised or disappointed that we should “All Hail the Cloud” now. In my view, there are no wrong reactions to this news, not even the tendency to double-down on denial. If you’re not ready to hail the Cloud, don’t rush yourself. Come back when you’re ready. People who appreciate the significance of this story consume it responsibly, in the fullness of time.
Of course, there’s a long list of agenda items for my negotiations with the Almighty. In this prayer, I turn my attention to the most urgent matters — the latest reports suggesting that the Almighty intends to destroy the world. If you missed these reports and would like to receive a personalized recap, pray to OTG to help you lift the paywall bisecting this prayer.
Dear God
This is Lev Janashvili, publisher of a growing portfolio of public and private Substacks. I realize you don’t need to hear about the details of my work, but my work is what brought me to you today. So, I’ll keep this post strictly “big picture”, and I’ll get straight to the point.
Part 1: Spare My World
It has come to my attention that you intend to destroy my world, and I simply want an opportunity to be heard before it’s too late. As a participant in the world you intend to destroy, I feel no need to tell you how I see everything that brought us to this point in our relationship. For years now, I have been publishing those views for my Substack subscribers and for my own benefit. But here, I simply want to tell you that I’m on a mission to give you a reason to spare my world.
The mission is simple: find ten people who meet two criteria. First, they have a problem to which Dialogue as a Service (DaaS) can offer a uniquely fruitful response. Second, they can afford one of the three DaaS subscription tiers. I realize that not everyone will immediately see how this mission, if successful, may give you a reason to show mercy to my world. But I believe that you see the connection. I don’t believe you would destroy a world in which DaaS has ten paying subscribers. I believe you would spare a world in which members of this quorum form vibrant synapses with each other and other like-minded groups drawn to dialogue as a horizon of possibility.
Believe me, God, the drumbeat of reports about impending doom doesn’t surprise me in the least. Predicting the destruction of an unsustainably corrupted world seems like a safe bet. What has surprised me for a long time is that you haven’t destroyed my world already. If the rationale for the destruction is so clear, how does my world still stand?
I still don’t claim to know the answer, but I hypothesize that you’re holding back for the same reason I’m pushing forward with my work on DaaS. I believe there’s a narrow path to our salvation, and it begins with dialogue. In the words of Martin Buber, this path begins with becoming fully human by “embracing another individual truly as a person, not as an object for use.” This path also begins with learning to see the problem I described in my essay on Second-Order Ignorance (SOI). God, this is why I am confident that, when I do form a DaaS quorum, you will spare my world.
Part 2: Help Me Understand Media
As I see it, only one thing stands in the way — understanding media. And, as usual, the obstacle is the way.
In college, I tried to read Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time. I don’t remember anything from the book except the final paragraph where Hawking envisions the discovery of a “complete theory”. In his view, this discovery would represent a triumph of human reason and it would lead us to the knowledge of the mind of God.
“…If we do discover a complete theory, it should in time be understandable in broad principle by everyone, not just a few scientists. Then we shall all, philosophers, scientists, and just ordinary people, be able to take part in the discussion of the question of why it is that we and the universe exist. If we find the answer to that, it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason – for then we would know the mind of God.”
To be honest, the complete theory may sound desirable, even irresistibly alluring, but I think it’s a fantasy, a kind of epistemic porn. As a mortal man, I’m skeptical about the risk-adjusted ROI on knowing the mind of God; however, I’m drawn to the possibility of understanding media. Ultimately, I can only reach my subscribers through my media.
A couple of years ago, my understanding of media brought me to Substack. Since then, I’ve been creating Kosher Media as my best response to the kleptocratic attention economy. Sometimes, I think of my Substacks as Noah’s arks built as a defense against the flood of bullshit in our media. At other times, I think of these publications as tabernacles in the wilderness. But these are not the most helpful metaphors about Substack’s salvific potential. I expressed the most important metaphoric message in a rhyme:
“In the land of milk and honey, you get my posts, and I get your money.”
This may sound crass or juvenile to some and funny to others. Also, technically, this rhymed message only applied to M2D, not DaaS subscribers who get dedicated service in addition to published content. Still, the rhyme points to a breakdown in the translation of metaphor into matter, and I turn to you, dear God, to fix the translational error.
Part 3: Lift This Paywall
You already know that Substack has been a fun and illuminating journey for me, but you also know that Substack is part of the problem. It certainly isn’t immune to the pathologies of the attention economy. Nor does it offer an adequate response.
The problem is that I don’t know where else to seek greener pastures. So, I turn to you. I know that you can bend the will of the almighty algorithm to your will. I know you can connect me with the ten subscribers I seek.
To avoid miscommunication, I propose a specific mechanism through which you can respond to this prayer. Substack has a wonderful feature called a paywall, and I used it below to bisect this post. Above the paywall, I included my letters to you and my subscribers. Below the paywall, I am publishing your responses. This way, paying subscribers to the first DaaS quorum can know the mind of God.
I pray, dear Lord, that you lift the paywall below for ten human beings by September 25, 2024. That’s right. This is a prayer not only with a paywall but also a deadline.
Thank you for listening, dear Lord. I already feel heard.
Dear Subscribers
Soon after I wrote my letter to OTG, the responses started pouring in, and I am reveling in revelation. As promised, I am transcribing the responses behind the paywall, and I pray that the good Lord lifts the paywall for you so that you can join me in this dance party at the end of time.
However, if you don’t hear from OTG, don’t feel discouraged. Remember the many ways you can enjoy this party as a free subscriber:
Submit your writing for publication on DaaS, M2D, MISM or BS”D.
Let me interview you, either on a podcast or as a source for a story.
Submit a question to ‘Ask DaaS’ for a public response.
As usual, start by emailing me at daasnow@proton.me.